What Kind of Blog Is This?

Most of the blogs you’re going to find out there on autism are going to be by parents of autistic children. Parents who are not, themselves, on the spectrum. For your average parent who is not on the spectrum but who has a child on the spectrum, such blogs are useful and even necessary, from an emotional standpoint.

But I would hope that many of those same parents would come by this blog and read things from my perspective as an autistic father with an autistic son. You’re not going to get a lot of emotional satisfaction here at my blog, I’m afraid. That’s just not my thing (which shouldn’t surprise you if you have an autistic child). What you will find here, though, is a combination of my own experiences as someone on the spectrum, my experiences as a father of an autistic child, my experiences as a father of two children not on the spectrum (but who have a few features), my experiences as a husband of a wife not on the spectrum, and my research and (hopefully) insights into that research on autism.

That means you’re probably going to find as many discussions of oxytocin as my autistic son’s obsessions with sharks (especially basking sharks of late) and Star Wars (most especially Storm Troopers). In fact, in the area of shark obsessions, he is particularly obsessed with the fact that people eat shark fin soup. He is very upset by this fact and keeps asking me why people who eat shark fin soup want to hurt nature. He doesn’t understand why anyone would ever want to harm a shark.

If there is a problem with this blog, it will be that I will tend to follow my own obsessions. Combine that with the way my memory works, where I have a tendency to forget a great many things when I need to remember them (including ideas for blog posts, all too often), and it’s more likely you’ll learn about the glutamine-glutamate cycle than Daniels’ dental obsession. But I do promise to try.

Also, if you have any specific questions you would like me to answer in a future post, please feel free to ask me!

6 thoughts on “What Kind of Blog Is This?

  1. I’m extremely grateful for you and your blog. Your blog is not the only blog by someone with Autism ir Asperger that I follow. I am more interested in blogs like yours than those written by parents of a child with Autism, like me and my blog.

    The reason why I’m more likely to follow blogs like yours is because I want to see, learn, and try to understand how people with Autism see things, do things, and feel. I believe I can better understand, respect, love, and help my daughter by trying to see the world the way she sees it. If I wanted to look at Autism as an outsider, I don’t need those other blogs written by parents. I have my own one for those. But if I truly want to make an effort and try to put myself in my daughter’s shoes, I need blogs like yours and the other blogs and YouTube channels by Autistic people.

    Therefore, I’m so grateful for you and those with Autism who are willing to share their experiences. It means a lot and I respect you all for having the courage and the willingness to put these blogs out. With the way a lot of people look at Autism these days, it takes guts to do what you do.

    I also appreciate your openness and offer to answer questions.

    And don’t worry if you end up getting off the tangent or writing about your obsessions or that of your loved ones. You’re still helping people like me understand. And we all have obsessions. Mine is photography and the outdoors. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Oh, I’m sure you’re reaching a lot more. 😉 Some people just don’t comment and only read. And your blog seems fairly new. You will get more followers. I’m sure about that, most especially because of you said precisely in this entry. I read your About page and that’s precisely what I was looking for: Someone who walks the walk and who is willing to take a risk and share.

        We cannot feel for others. We cannot think for others. We cannot see what others see. We can try our best, but you cannot walk their walk or be in their shoes. All we can do is listen and try to understand the best we can. And we may never be able to understand. But as long as we are willing to accept that we are all different, that’s a lot in there already.

        And while I do understand that Autism is different for everybody, when I find stories like yours, I feel that there’s nothing that my daughter cannot do. I mean, so many Autistic people are out there with degrees, able to speak, proving to the world that there’s a mind and a heart and a soul behind that wall. I love that technology has allowed for Autistic people to be able to reach out and get their voice out there, be listen and heard.

        I cannot stop thinking about Autistic people who passed away decades ago, when we didn’t have the iPads or the Internet, those who couldn’t control their bodies to type on a typewriter or anything. I start thinking: Did they die lonely, frustrated, misunderstood, never able to let the world know that there was a world in them that they wanted to share and scream about and they couldn’t? I hate the fact that all these ABA therapies and the likes were created by non-Autistic people. How does someone who does not have Autism know what an Autistic person thinks, feels, desires, dreams about, can or cannot understand?

        I hate the fact that they call it “undesirable behaviours.” By whose standards? The ABA geniuses? The Floortime mentors? The speech therapists who keep on insisting that the kid points to a stupid red ball when the kid wants to scream “I know that’s a f… red ball but my finger keeps on pointing to the green house and there’s nothing in this f… word that can make my finger not go for the greenhouse and I cannot even tell you that I know that I’m not stupid and I have understood every freaking word you just said to me”?

        How does a therapy know if the child hurts because he or she is forced not to stim because “stimming looks bad”? What if the child has a physiological need to rock and flap arms around? How about we put the therapist in a room for four hours and tell her to hold it and punish her if she ends up peeing on herself? Because that’s how I feel some of these therapies might be for these children who cannot even tell you what they feel.

        I’m going to share a secret with you. I may not be Autistic, but I can relate when it comes to certain obsessions. When I was in school, I had to write a paper about one of the bad guys from WWII. I chose Hitler. Why? Because the more I researched about him, the more I wanted to dig into the mind of that man and find out what the heck he was thinking. I even when as far as to get a clandestine copy of the Mein Kampf because it was impossible to get it where I grew up. I was freaking out when I got it, but I read it and it helped me understand a bit better. Then I tossed it away. (I think I burnt it. What a paradox, right? He ordered to burn a lot of books and I burnt his.) To this day, I’m still obsessed with what the Nazis did because I cannot understand why they did what they did and what made them do it. I know it’s a horrible analogy to make, but I’m trying to make a point. I like seeing things from the other person’s view point. Go to the source. Hear it from the horse’s mouth.

        Concerning my daughter, I try to do what she does many times. She likes sorting things in certain orders. I have yet to figure some of those out. With some, I have been successful. It’s just shapes, or colours, or the image itself. The category. The specie. But some other ones, no idea to this day. For a born analytical person like me, I like the challenge. And I think it has already helped me help her since I try to be very observant, not just with her, but with a lot of things I do. And who knows! I may actually learn more from her than her from me. She may actually be the one to help me and not the other way around.

        I’m sorry. I posted an incredibly long reply. I apologize.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Don’t apologize for posts. If they are simply to get something out you needed to get out, it was valuable.

        BTW, my son was a little older than 3 before he began talking. Except for that one episode where he sung the .fun song “We are Young” in its entirety, then said nothing for about another year and a half. Read today’s posting to see how his speaking is going now. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

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